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What’s in today’s issue

🍾 Kash Patel controversy

🚗 Did illegal gifts fund an official’s road trip?

💧 Reflecting pool renovation

🧓 Why it matters that Congress is so old

🤖 AI shrinkflation

Hi friends!

Chris Vazquez, your Friday newsletter writer here. I field a lot of questions about how both I, individually, and LNI, as a whole, balance doing the news with being funny. My response this week would be to literally just look around. Our senior-most officials are allegedly getting too drunk to do their jobs, drawing watchdog complaints over family road trips, and trying and failing to turn the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool into a very specific shade of blue. It would sound like a sitcom if it wasn’t also terrifying that these people are in charge of our lives.

With that, let’s dive in.

The FBI’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week(s)

  • Last month, The Atlantic published a story about FBI director Kash Patel. It shared sources’ accounts of Patel acting erratically, being frequently absent from his job, and drinking excessively. Then, he sued The Atlantic and the reporter who wrote the story, saying it included false information. Then, in what’s been described as an effort to make you forget about that Atlantic story and convince you the agency he runs is really cool and fun and hot actually, Patel posted what appears to be an AI-generated promotional video essentially plagiarizing a 1994 Beastie Boys music video.

  • Two days later, MS NOW reported that the FBI launched a criminal investigation focusing on The Atlantic journalist who wrote the story about Patel’s drinking. Sources told MS Now the agents involved are part of a unit that typically focuses on officials who divulge state secrets or classified documents, not leaks to reporters. For those keeping track at home, this means the FBI director is simultaneously arguing that somebody leaked things that were happening inside of the FBI and that the story about those things is not true. Curious!

  • The same day that MS NOW reported on the criminal investigation, The Atlantic published another story by the same reporter. In it, people in the FBI director’s orbit describe Patel traveling with personalized bottles of liquor as well as gifting these bottles to staff and civilians while on official business. A spokesperson insisted to the reporter that Patel was following ethical guidelines. When asked what those guidelines were, exactly, he did not clarify.

  • And the next day, MS NOW published a story in which sources told them Patel had ordered polygraph tests on over two dozen members of his team, which I hope does not give Dave any ideas. The polygraph tests are reportedly meant to find leaks among his team. Patel testified before the Senate about all of this, leading to contentious back-and-forths with Democratic lawmakers.

I will turn this car around if you take illegal gifts

  • Transportation secretary and aspiring YouTube star Sean Duffy is launching a web video series that raises some ethical questions. A forthcoming YouTube series will show Duffy and his family road tripping across the U.S. in honor of the country’s 250th birthday.

  • But if I can’t afford gas, and you can’t afford gas, then who’s paying for Sean Duffy’s road trip? Reportedly, a nonprofit whose list of public sponsors includes companies with ties to the Department of Transportation, which Duffy runs. In other words, companies that a government official is supposed to regulate indirectly paid for that official’s family road trip.

  • A government watchdog filed a complaint over this, alleging Duffy violated rules around gifts and travel. The group is urging the Transportation Office’s inspector general to look into whether taxpayer money went into promoting the show and whether Duffy solicited gifts.

  • This is a wild sentence to write, but this is not the Transportation Secretary’s first reality series. Duffy was previously on “The Real World: Boston” in 1997 (before I was born, as Dave sadly noted in the LNI slack). He later met his wife on another MTV reality series called “Road Rules: All Stars,” also before I was born.

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What if we kissed in the flag blue reflecting pool 👉 👈

  • We can’t. Because it’s leaky, algae-ridden and not American flag blue. At least, that’s how Trump described it when he decided to renovate it.

  • Trump’s reflecting pool renovation project is reaching a $15 million price tag, according to an ABC News review of federal contract records. $15 million is way more than the $1.5 million estimate Trump previously gave for the renovation.

  • The contracts didn’t go through a competitive bidding process because the administration argued there was an unusual or compelling urgency to finish the project by the 250th birthday of the United States.

  • As a result, the contractor renovating the reflecting pool is reportedly the same firm that Trump says works on his pools at his Virginia golf club.

  • The pool is also, hilariously, still not American flag blue.

Why are members of Congress so old?

  • If 92-year-old Republican Senator Chuck Grassley is reelected, he will be 101 when his next term expires. Trump is the oldest person to ever serve as president and regularly appears to fall asleep in meetings. Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein died in office in 2023 at age 90, after months of questions over whether she was in decline. Five members of our current Congress have died in office, and they were all over age 65.

  • Calls for age limits in Congress often draw critiques that such a policy would be ageist. It also points to a disparity between elected officials and the people they represent. Boomers and the Silent Generation make up almost half of the U.S. House of Representatives and two-thirds of the U.S. Senate. That’s way more than the general population, even if we exclude people under age 25 who aren’t eligible to serve in Congress.

  • This brings us to this week’s media literacy tip from our friends at MediaWise! When journalists report on trends like how Congress keeps getting older, journalists ensure accuracy by citing experts. And you, too, can check the evidence behind a story to make sure it holds up!

If only I, too, could get dumber and more expensive

  • AI is not immune to shrinkflation, which is when manufacturers make products smaller or lower quality without lowering prices.

  • Inc. wrote that tech companies have paused signups for some AI tools, introduced more pricing tiers, and even admitted they’ve accidentally given users worse versions of their products than the ones they meant to provide.

  • Behind all this are the rising costs of AI. People are using it way more and for more complex tasks. Nvidia develops most of the chips that are powering the AI boom, and they say that can now cost more than human employees’ salaries. More usage + higher costs for that usage = a problem for AI companies.

These shorts are straight up bangers

@Greasemonkeywrench on YouTube

Each week, after running through the news Dave has covered in the past week, I turn things over to him for some analysis. Dave, take it away!

I fell down a 1990s reality TV rabbit hole briefly today while pulling footage of Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy and his now-wife Rachel Campos-Duffy.

There’s something so striking and innocent about their early TV appearances. There’s not really any political talk, at least that I could find. They’re just two young people enjoying life. There was the young Theo Von too! As a Survivor fan with way too much knowledge about former castaways, Elisabeth Hasselbeck also came to mind - a fan favorite on the second season of Survivor in 2001 who later became a co-host on The View and Fox & Friends.

This was a million years ago.

Today, we’ve just come to accept that these people, including our sitting president, got their start, or became far more famous thanks to reality television. But for the first time today I wondered, who are those people today in 2026? What reality TV show or YouTube series or Amazon sponsored Beast Games contestant will one day be making hugely influential decisions about millions of Americans? It’s impossible to know - like Duffy and Campos in 1997, there’s nothing on screen to suggest future political ambitions. But it’s fun to guess!

Who do you think is the next politician or political figure, for better or worse, that will come from reality TV? Is it Survivor 49 and 50’s RizGod or Savannah? Is it one of those goofballs on Love Island? Is Rob Rausch going to trade in his overalls for a suit and tie? Send me your thoughts at [email protected].

Thanks, Dave! If you made it to the end if this newsletter, you get two rewards. The first is a pet picture from a loyal reader. This is Spencer!

Spencer’s owner described him as a “senior tabby cat.” He’d fit right in if he ran for Congress.

Your second reward is the reveal for this week’s link scavenger hunt, in which I hid a non-news related link in the body of this email and wait until we’re down here to tell you where it is. I cheated this week by linking out to an American Experience piece about the creator of Wonder Woman and the invention of the lie detector. What would Kash Patel have done without him?

Until next week!

Chris

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