“You can’t kidnap a criminal 😂”

This was a top Snapchat comment on our video from Friday. My video was mostly about the fired federal workers returning to their jobs, but it also included a brief parody at the end of an ICE recruitment video. Arguably, my parody wasn’t that far off. They’re basically making the same points in ICE ads playing on Spotify.

But let’s take a step back and analyze this Snapchat comment and Snapchat as a whole. First, let me say, it’s been horrific and fascinating to be back on the app. I haven’t used it actively since 2016, a fact that the ‘Memories” feature likes to painfully remind me (Wonderland Ballroom in DC, if you’re looking for b-roll of 20-somethings at your bar every night and Sunday brunch of the weekend from 2014 to 2016, I have seemingly hours of footage for you).

The best way to describe my return to Snapchat is by comparing it to a series of events in Breaking Bad. At one point, the downtrodden Jesse Pinkman uses his meth-making money to buy his parent’s house. He makes a few upgrades, which include a ridiculous sound system and TV. It’s tacky but entertaining - kind of like Snapchat in the 2010s. Then, a few episodes later, following even more traumatic events in Jesse and Walter White’s misadventures, he opens up the house to any meth-head willing to eat pizza.

The next episode, the older (and wiser!) Mike Ehrmantraut shows up at the house and takes in the scene. That’s kind of what it felt like coming back to Snapchat in 2025.

Anywho, we’re actually doing great on Snapchat, in spite of the comment section. And I’d like to use today’s newsletter to address the questions and retorts you may be hearing from ICE-friendly neighbors, family or friends.

You probably know in your heart that federal agents assaulting people and ripping families apart is bad, but it can be hard to prepare for the comments you hear or read. So let’s break down those comments. For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll call the person making these comments your “neighbor” (after all, we are all neighbors right? You know, love thy neighbor? Or try to love them, even if they’re saying some weird shit?).

Here’s the definition of kidnapping:

The unlawful seizure, confinement, or abduction of a person against their will, often through force, fraud, or threats, with the purpose of holding them for ransom or another crime.

Ok, so we can all agree, with the constant circulation of bystander videos, that people are being taken by ICE against their will, often by force. But what if the undocumented person really does have a criminal history? Does that still make their capture unlawful?

The law does apply to criminals. It doesn’t matter if you’re undocumented. It’s called due process, it’s in the U.S. Constitution and it means that everyone has the right to a fair hearing. Many undocumented people are not getting that hearing and then some are even disappearing (like two-thirds of the men who were at Alligator Alcatraz). So yes, you can kidnap criminals, and ICE is actively doing this.

Being undocumented in the United States is a civil infraction. If someone is undocumented, without having committed any other crimes, they’re not a criminal. They can legally be deported following a fair trial, but they are not a criminal.

ICE itself just released data on Friday that contradicts this. Immigrants with no criminal records are now the largest group in ICE detention.

Unless your neigbhor has Native American ancestry … neither are they. 

Many, many people attempt to come to the United States the right way. But even applying for a work visa can be difficult. It’s usually a limited pool and/or a lottery system. It can take months, years even, to get a visa allowing you to come to the U.S. 

Some people, fearing for their lives in violent countries, choose to come here illegally because they have no other choice and can’t wait decades for Uncle Sam to grant their stay. Even then, millions of undocumented and documented people alike have worked in earnest to eventually become U.S. citizens, which can take decades.

Even now, some people who came here legally “the right way” and then became naturalized citizens are being targeted by the Trump administration, which is trying to strip them of their hard-earned citizenship.

This was the argument during Trump’s first run in 2016, despite employing undocumented workers in his own businesses. It’s not true that these workers are taking U.S. citizens’ jobs. Research has continuously shown that the opposite is true.

According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, “increases in immigrant populations were associated with increases in the proportion of U.S.-born citizens who were employed during this time period.” 

Similarly, the increase in immigration is associated with an increase of wages for U.S. born workers. 

If all else fails, send your neighbor this South Park episode. The satire may not hit but at least they’ll laugh.

Have you heard any other arguments that you can’t figure out how to counter, or that you happen to agree with? I want to hear all of them. Email me at [email protected].

Want me to talk about something more specific in a coming newsletter? Email me again! I’ll keep sticking to the facts, sneaking in some jokes and doing my very best to serve you all.

-Dave